(don’t worry, this starts sad, but the end is positive)
There you are. Sitting at your desk with your books. You have to study, but you hear other people having fun in the other room. You feel tired, but you have to continue for a little while.
After graduating, things will change…
I read that many (adult) students feel alone. This isn’t that strange. You sit there, with your nose in your books. You read, take notes, outline, and memorize what you learned.
It is you who has to do all the work. No one else can do this for you. How do you deal with feeling this way?
Let’s have a look together.
Finding a solution for feeling lonely when studying
You may feel sad at times when studying. You can’t figure out how to solve a problem. What you read may be difficult. You fall asleep because it has been a long day.
I had this issue a long time ago. It was because I was trying to do all my studying and knowledge work in the evening. I mean, late in the evening.
This way of working wasn’t optimal. I noticed that the weight of the day was pushing hard on me. All the impressions, stress, and hard work made the evenings very difficult.
That is why I started to change things in my life. Here’s what I did…
7 Changes You Can Make In Your Life
Here are 7 changes you can implement to stop feeling lonely, or missing out on time with family and friends.
1. Change your sleeping habits
The best thing I did was to go to bed early and get up early as well.
My head was clear and I did not have many distractions around me.
My productivity increased and I was able to take more in.
The only drawback was that I had to go to bed earlier. But hey… no problem with that. I was already feeling tired in the evening from doing my daily tasks. Getting up earlier was not that difficult for me, since I went to bed earlier.
My advice is: understand how much sleep you need. Do you need 7 hours? Subtract 7 hours from when you want to wake up and make sure you go to bed then!
Something magical will happen when you start working early in the morning. The house will be quiet! No distractions. No people around you. No phone calls!
And if you keep your phone on Airplane mode you will not even hear from other people via social networks and email 🙂
2. Study at a different location
Get out of your home. Don’t surround yourself with people you know and who distract you.
For instance, you can study at the library or study hall. Being surrounded by people who are also studying may help you.
Knowing that others are also “alone” and studying can be a wonderful source of motivation.
Sitting alone being connected by the simple task of studying gives strength.
The moment you feel lonely, you look around. You are not the only person working on your future. Simply sit there for a moment, looking around at the others. You are not alone and not lonely!
Plus… this would be a good time to grab a cup of tea and walk around. Studying continues after your drink.
3. Talk about what you are studying!
When family members have a good time together, you should be thankful there are there with you. You can sit next to them after a study session and tell them what you’ve learned.
Sharing your experience gets them interested in what you do. Next time, they might want to hear more from your stories and ideas.
What works wonders is talking to young children. Take your study ideas and explain them to your children.
You might have to think hard to make them understand what you do. This is great because it helps you to reach deep inside your mind to find the right words.
You understand what you are talking about, when you can explain it to children.
4. Flip a switch!
This is for some people easy to do. For others, it might be impossible…
Just flip that mental switch. Buckle up and get going!
There is no time to feel sad or sorry. You have work to do.
If you want to feel alone or sad, do that after your current study session.
For me, this was not the best solution. Do you have to study a difficult topic? You may experience feelings of doubt, weakness, and incompetence. Flipping the switch isn’t easy to do.
But hey… if this works for you… make sure you use it!
5. Don’t study for too long
When do you study? Is that every day or one long day every day?
If you study too long in one session, without taking a break, you will lose focus and energy. You will also lose motivation. And when that happens, it will be easier to feel lonely.
Don’t study for 2 hours at once.
Sure, you can train yourself to study longer periods of time. But that takes time! Start out with perhaps a 30-minute session.
Give the information time to sink in. When you have done that, do another session.
6. Use The Pomodoro Strategy
Did you ever hear about the Pomodoro strategy?
It says that you do work in a set frame of time. Usually, this is 25 minutes using the Pomodoro strategy.
In that timeframe, you do nothing else but work. No phone, internet, talking with others… nothing!
After that session of 25 minutes, you take a 5-minute break.
Do this for 2 more times, and then take a 30-minute break.
Note that breaks are not reading time. This is the time you get up and walk around for a couple of minutes. Do some exercises. During your break, you don’t do anything work or study-related.
How does this help you beat that feeling of loneliness you may ask?
Because you have a fixed timeframe, you have to focus to get your task done. When you focus, there is no longer time and energy flowing towards that feeling of loneliness.
Oh… if you can’t make it for 25 minutes, don’t worry. You can start with 5 or 10 minutes and move your way up!
7. Find A Study Buddy
I enjoyed this tactic for beating loneliness.
Basically, you find a friend and you study together. Sit in the same room and you study from your own books.
There is another way to do this.
Have you heard of the concept of an accountability partner?
This is a person that you report to what you are doing. For instance, you want to study every day. You know that you start at 8 PM and study until 9.30 PM.
At the beginning of the study session, you tell your partner that you start studying.
When you finished your session, you send another message. You tell your partner what you did, what problems you had, what went well.
Working like this helps you to keep a steady pace. It is that stick you may need to getting started every evening.
When you are lucky, you also get tips and ideas to become a better student.
Normally, when you don’t succeed with the pre-set goal of that day, you have to do something you don’t like (pay money, do a chore, etc.).
I worked with students of all ages. I noticed they like the idea of an accountability partner.
That is why I made a Study Buddy version based on the “Studying Made Easy” training.
In this version, I become your study buddy. We meet every week for 30 minutes. You tell me when you study and what you accomplished. I help you with tactics, ideas, and more training.
The result of this is improved focus. You make progress faster.
Feeling lonely is…
These are 7 tactics or changes you can make to stop feeling lonely. Remember this…
Feeling lonely is a state of mind. The best way to tackle this is by feeding your mind with other information. Change your focus.
Do you remember feeling lonely or alone when you were in a hurry or when you were with friends having a great time? Of course not!
Keep yourself busy with the things you want. Negative feelings most likely will not enter your head when you do that.
Try any of the 7 tactics. Click here to learn more about “Studying Made Easy“
If you have any questions about this, mind mapping, or studying, please let me know.